what goes up must come down

Isn't it funny that just as everything seems to be going well for once that something always has to come up and bite you on the ass. D. is going to a job interview tomorrow in Manchester. So I have a conflict going on. On one hand I really hope he gets the job because he has been looking for a while, and there isn't much going on in Nottingham work wise for him. So it looks like he will have to move either to London or Manchester.

I suppose there is really no point in worrying about it until it happens but I really don't want him to move. Long distance doesn't work. That's what I believe. Ultimately someone has to give in and move. I really don't see myself moving anywhere, least of all Manchester. Since we have such a new relationship will it survive only seeing each other at the weekend?

Rubbish.

Cx

Neighbours, everybody needs good Neighbours...

The house next door went up for sale and was sold within a few weeks. since then there has been an inordinate amount of banging as the renovation work takes place. The new owner called by tonight to say hi and ask if he could remove some electrical wires...blah blah. Wasn't listening to what he was saying. Instead I was picturing him naked, on top of me licking my tits. Yes he was hot. And third finger left hand was naked.

Cx

Morocco 2

Shit, I've done it, I emailed M. Crap. I really want him to email back. Bugger. This cannot end well.

Morocco

So I come home today, turn the key in the lock as usual and pick up the post lying on the mat. I walk into the kitchen, switch on the heating, turn on the puter, go to the loo. Back to the post. Have a look; junk, junk, bill, wait a minute what's this? Postcard. Marrakesh. Fuck. Turn it over. Yep it's from M. Shit. Fuck. What does he want????

I got it together with M last spring during a trip to Morocco. Well actually it wasn't until we were back in England that we actually got it on. A completely unsuitable man in every way. Older, way older, for a start. Unreliable. Not thoughtful. Hugging him was lke cuddling an ironing board. But my god the sex. The things he did to me. Fucking hell. And my god we used to laugh and laugh. It was fantastic.

Until after a few months of fucking without committment he went and met someone else.

I was gutted. I knew nothing would come of it for many different reasons. But it still hurt. It always does when you've slept with someone.

What hurt most was that after we'd 'broken up' I really wanted to be friends. People always say that, but this time I meant it. We'd started as friends and had a fling. My heart wasn't broken. I'm a grown up. It would have been nice to keep in touch. But he cut all contact. Until now.

The last line says " I lost your number. Text me"

What do I do? especially as I've got D now? (Who pales into insignificance in the bedroom in comparison.) but I know he cares for me, and is reliable and sweet. Would I be able to resist M if I knew he wanted it?

FUCK.FUCK FUCK

Cx

The Wedding Rant

God I almost could have slapped my friend in the face last Friday night at dinner. The reason for this intense feeling of hostility even loathing was all the talk of her impending wedding. In fact, no it wasn't the impending wedding but the hen party. She has planned her hen party in DUBAI!!! What the fuck??!!

I can't think of anywhere I'd less like to visit. It will cost 100's of pounds and amount to a weekend spent with lots of people I don't know (and probably won't like, as I am ridiculously intolerant) in a place that is just about my idea of hell.

Is it not enough that I've got to buy a ticket and fly to Ireland for the freaking wedding? Add on top of that the cost of a present, dress to wear, taxi fares, hotel for the night etc...

It's got to the stage now that I can't even go on holiday to somewhere I want to visit because I have to spend my money on various people's weddings and hen weekends.

GRRRRR

The thought won't even have crossed her mind that I may not want to spend my hard earned money on her hen party. She truly believes she is the centre of the universe.

And there is a new dimension to her personality and I don't like it. Smugness. I don't know whether it's because she's getting married, and I'm not or because her fiance is very rich and my boyf isn't, but it's definitely there. A little bit of smuggness: Haven't I done well. I'm going to be so rich. We are buying a holiday apartment in Canada. T came home late last night so he bought me a DAB digital radio to say sorry. Have you seen how big my ring is....etc

So the question has to be: Why am I friends with this person? Well I've only known her a couple of years and I think that I'm only really starting to get to know her properly now. I'm starting to see her true personality. And I don't like it.

How do I dump her?

Cx